Marilou’s Story

As told by some who love her

After a night of jitterbug dancing, Marilou was born on April 11, 1945 to a very young, energetic woman. Her mother, Mary Lou Shaffer, was married to Russell “Bud” Graham, who was seven years her senior. Two years later her sister, Sandy, was born and shortly thereafter the marriage was over.

Marilou lived in the Villa Park area of Trenton with her family. She was a little blonde with a friendly personality. As a young girl Marilou loved reading books and she was a very good student. She attended Trenton public school Junior #2 until eighth grade.

Her mother married Robert G. “Bob” Potts who had two children: Carol, who was six months older than Marilou, and Gordon, who was two years younger. Bob legally adopted Marilou and Sandy to officially make them all one family with the same last name.

Marilou was a very nurturing girl who was often in charge of her younger siblings while her mother was cooking, sewing and attending school to become a Licensed Practical Nurse. Marilou’s parents were very active in church, and Marilou attended church from a young age.

When her family moved to Hamilton Township, Marilou made many friends at Steinert High School and began babysitting to earn spending money. She worked at the A&P to save money so that she could fly to California after graduation (Steinert H.S. class of 1963) to spend a year with her grandmother, aunt and cousins.

When Marilou returned from California, she got a job at Mercer Hospital as a unit secretary. She later worked for a doctor of ophthalmology until she married her first husband, Robert “Bob” Fletcher (Steinert H.S. Class of 1961), in 1965 and started her family.

Marilou and Bob began saving to build their own house, so they moved into the apartment in her parents’ house with Sandy. Bob and Marilou now had this third person in their family.

In 1966 their first child, Linda, was born. In those days, mothers were not permitted to have ANY ONE with them during labor and delivery. Since Sandy was a student at the hospital, she asked permission of the doctor to be present during her delivery. What an amazing and precious thing to share! Although motherhood was very natural for Marilou, she had lots of help caring for her first baby from her mother (“Grammie”) and sister Sandy.

The little apartment in Marilou’s parents’ home was getting small, so Marilou, Bob and Linda rented an apartment on Reeves Avenue. The playground was right out front, so Marilou’s apartment was the place to be. The adults had some pretty fun get togethers, too.  Marilou and her sisters loved to dance!  Summers were spent at her parents’ pool, and later at a lake near her parents’ home.

In 1969, Marilou and Bob’s second child, Janet, was born. Every time Marilou or Sandy had a baby the one sister would clean new mom’s oven. They would also buy special sweets to take to the hospital.

In 1971, Marilou and Bob began building their home on Waln Road in Chesterfield. Bob enjoyed building the house so much he told Marilou that he was going to quit his good paying engineering job at GE with all the benefits and start his own contracting business. Marilou thought the world was coming to an end!

In 1976, Marilou and Bob welcomed baby Brian. Marilou and her three kids attended church with Sandy and her four kids and Grammie and Pop-pop Potts each week at Bible Baptist Church. Most weeks, Grammie would give them money to go out to lunch.  Notice that Grammie did not join! The seven kids made so much noise and mess that they carefully rotated restaurants (Burger King, Roy Rogers, etc.) once a month with the hope that the restaurant staff would not recognize them!

Marilou was very busy with her kids’ schools and community meetings. The girls took dance lessons, Brian played baseball, and they all swam at the Country Pool Club. Marilou wanted the girls to have Christian friends so she started a Pioneer Girls program at church.

Marilou worked for Hamilton Hospital Emergency Room and a dental office in Bordentown before joining the Garden State Water Company, where she worked until her retirement in 2000.

As the girls grew up, Linda decided that she wanted to attend Columbus Baptist Church. Marilou began attending, and her faith was rejuvenated. She continued working full-time and growing in her faith and serving the Lord in many ways. 

Although Marilou and Bob divorced, they remained friends. Bob later married Charlotte Goslin.  Marilou and Charlotte became dear friends over the years, even after Bob passed on.  Marilou often fondly referred to Charlotte as her “wife-in-law”.

In 1992, Marilou met William “Bill” Rohrer.  Bill was divorced, was living in Princeton Township, working as an HR Manager at Union Camp Paper Company R&D Labs nearby, and was attending Princeton Presbyterian Church. While talking with the Pastor there, the subject of “divorce recovery” came up as a real need in the church family. Bill volunteered to seek out any nearby group, visit it, and bring back a plan for starting one at the church. He visited one, met a lovely lady there, visited again, the rest is history with a few nice stories along the way!!

One such story was when Marilou invited Bill to have a dinner picnic in the nearby park.  Of course, he went. She reached across the table taking his hand and asked if he was interested in seeing her more? Bill paused a few seconds and replied that if this was happening six weeks from now, it would have been him who was doing the reaching across the table with the same question. The next month she invited him to go with her to a family gathering in Fredericksburg VA, nothing big… with about 70 there, Bill’s reflection was that he was being deep dipped into the family with the hope that he passed muster.

Marilou married Bill in 1992 and gained two grown stepchildren, Allison and Doug.  They attended Columbus Baptist Church together.  Bill was always active in church ministry, jumped right in to eventually become a pastoral intern and Licensed for Ministry, serving with Rev Mike Renz for a few years.

In 1992, Marilou also welcomed her first grandchild and became a “Grammie” herself. Marilou and Bill were eventually blessed with twelve grandchildren in all (Alex, Liam, Lincoln, Isaac, Cora, Sevil, Brooklyn, Carissa, Sam, Ben, Izzy, and Henry).  Marilou’s love for her grandchildren was boundless.  She cared for her local grandchildren daily for many years, and along with Bill, made regular trips to visit her grandchildren who lived out of state.  She also made sure that “Grammie & Pop-pop Bill’s house” was always the place to be – waffle breakfasts, fire pit s’mores, drawers of Legos, ping pong on the kitchen table, tie-dyeing and other crafts, and special outings made every visit an adventure. For several summers, Marilou and Bill hosted their children and grandchildren at a beach house in LBI.  Several of her grandchildren still recount the Flamingo mini golf games as their favorite memory from those trips.

Marilou made sure that her grandchildren felt special. She always had time to play a game, teach a skill, or indulge a mess. This nurturing and “spoiling” were not limited to her grandchildren. Many neighbors and church friends also benefited from Marilou’s love for children, open home, and generosity.

In about year 2000, Bill and Marilou changed church affiliations, joining First Baptist Church of Mount Holly.  Bill and Marilou served in various official capacities within the church, Bill becoming on staff for Ministry Administration a few years and presently serving as an Elder. Marilou was also very active, mainly with the Ladies’ Ministries. She served as Financial Secretary for a year leading up to her illness in 2009. Marilou and Bill frequently hosted Bible study groups often comprised of military couples and families. 

Marilou excelled at making friends with people of all ages.  During her last few years, she had a few ladies at home for a Bible study, even up to her last two months of life. These were wonderful times of fun and great discussion. Bill found time to be out on errands – he was her main “gofor” man.

Marilou always had a keen interest in Mission ministries, keeping in touch with a few overseas families. She accompanied Bill on the first FBCMH trip of five Katrina recovery mission short term trips; Bill went on three of these. She was a real worker, but spent much time getting acquainted with the homeowners and especially their kids in all their misery; what a blessing she was to these families. And she was a blessing to the mission team providing fun games at night with her “speed scrabble”.   

A busy life was disrupted in 2009, as Marilou was diagnosed with leukemia, and the prognosis was not good. Facing the side effects of chemotherapy head on, Marilou allowed her grandson to shave her head and delighted when another grandson shaved his head to match. Her many friends supported her by staying with her in the hospital, transporting her to appointments, preparing meals, and sending Scripture passages and messages of comfort and encouragement.  Fortunately, she has always been a fighter; it was very evident during these hard times. She was on a first-name basis with her beloved oncology team who provided excellent care, and she made friends with many in the hospital.

Her experience added to her empathy for people with a sickness. Marilou and Bill cared for her parents in their home until their deaths in 2013. Their caregiving allowed many meaningful visits with Marilou’s siblings, Carol, Gordon and Sandy, and extended family as Mary Lou and Bob declined. It also allowed them to pass on surrounded by family and loved ones.

During all this time, Marilou’s immune system was compromised and she was vulnerable to sickness, dodging most. But through routine blood work, Marilou learned in 2017 she needed a bone marrow transplant because of the side effects from chemotherapy previously.  Her life was saved by the generosity of a stranger who donated the needed marrow. As soon as the records were unsealed, Marilou characteristically reached out to her donor in Germany, and made him an unofficial member of the family. Before her death, they were making plans to meet someday soon.

Marilou maintained friendships throughout the decades:  friends from high school, friends from past and present churches, friends from work, friends from divorce recovery group, her neighbors, her doctors and nurses, and so many, many other dear friends.  Next to her grandchildren, her friends were her lifeblood. A natural extrovert, she was happiest when she was with people, especially those she loved.

Marilou was especially outspoken about her faith in her Lord Jesus Christ.  It was extremely important to her that each of her grandchildren find that faith and salvation as well.  She fought hard to remain an active participant in her friends’ and families’ lives even during her illnesses, and she had strong confidence about where she was headed when God would call her home.

Marilou went home to be with her Lord and Savior a few minutes before 5pm on Thursday, January 14, 2021.  She is dearly missed by so many.

To our dear one, Marilou, we love you, dear one, and look forward to when we complete our life track in our Lord’s care that we will be with you in our Lord’s presence for eternity.